Thornton: The Biter!

So, school drama continues. Thornton has had his "second incident" of biting at school. We spend lots of time now discussing "No Biting". He gets so mad when people take his toys that he bites out of frusteration. It must be hard to not be able to communicate. Here's the note we got from Thornton's teacher (exhibit 242 that she is an amazing teacher):
Aspen – I just wanted to let you know that today Thornton bit one of his friends on the finger – he grabbed it and put it in his mouth before we could get to him. He bit it really hard, leaving teeth indentations that stayed for a while, but it didn’t break the skin. While biting is not considered abnormal at the two-year-old level, we still don’t tolerate it. He had a short time-out in the “listening chair”. He didn’t really seem upset, didn’t cry or fuss at all, and sat nicely for the 3 minutes we asked. He wouldn’t apologize (again, common, don’t worry!) but he did smile at the friend afterwards. He really just wanted her toy and was focused on getting that; it wasn’t anything really malicious.

At DPCC we have a biting policy that we call home the first time – we stayed busy every minute today – so I’m sending this email instead. The second time a child bites we are supposed to call and have you come pick him up immediately. I am hoping you can talk with him about this at home, we will remind him of the no biting rule as soon as he arrives at school for a few days, and we’ll be even more vigilant to head things off before they happen. Our goal is not to have to make a phone call to you!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me should you have questions or concerns.

Please don’t worry too much – Thornton is usually sweet, good-natured, and fun-loving at school!
Amy

So, Jason and I called her and talked to her and she was super supportive. Evidently, Thornton is an advanced creative thinker (must be from me!)... he does very extensive imaginative play (we do that a lot at home) and he gets upset when someone has a toy that he has as a part of his imaginative play. Amy said, it's totally normal, but is frusterating.

He's doing bette and definately knows "no biting". Yesterday when we were playing, I nipped at his ear and he said "mommy - no biting - time out". So mommy had to sit on the stairs for 2 minutes until the timer went off (set by Thornton), then she apologized for biting and asked if he was ok. After a quick hug mommy was let out of timeout. Hope for the future.

Game On

So, it's time for us to jump back on the health bandwagon and quit eating like we're pregnant or breastfeeding. Ugh. I hate this part. We're Southbeaching. Jason has just called me to inform me that it was poor form to leave him at home with 2 children on our first day of south beach with a bag of speciality bread and a "vat of cookies". Oops.

Thornton and I made cookies last weekend. The cake was such a success that I thought we'd try cookies. Also a huge hit. However, I have now created a monster. It doesn't take a two-year-old long to want cookies for breakfast and cake for dinner.

To School or Not to School

Sigh. So, we've had school drama the past few weeks. Thornton was having a really, really hard time adjusting to going to school. Last year, at PMO, he cried every day that I dropped him off. Everyone assured me that he was fine after I left, so I was prepared for the crying this time. Our year got off to a sorta good start. He held it together the first week and made it the whole day (with some help from bear). Here's the message from his teacher (who is awesome, and we're totally in love):

• Thornton is doing fantastic! In fact, he has done so well that yesterday was the first day he cried in our classroom. I think this is because we have two friends who are very, very distraught – which distracts Thornton from engaging with the classroom materials. I remember you being worried that Thornton would have a very difficult adjustment, but he’s doing well. I understand he cries when he gets out of the car, but when he gets up to the classroom, he has stopped crying! I promise. He did cry during carpool yesterday, so it’s good to be at the very early end of carpool. It’s hard for the little ones to see their classmates leave before them – and to see so many mommies! We are downstairs at 11:40 each day.
  

So, good start. Then, the tears started in earnest. Thornton started getting picked up every school day (Tues/Thurs) around 10:30. Not good. I thought this was due to the 2 other children that are also crying and getting picked up. He's a pretty smart kid and is a hell of a minupilator, so it's not unreasonable to think that he may clue in on crying = pick me up. Nevertheless, he was highly distraught, and his wonderful teacher sends this message:

• I did mention to Jason and Nonna that I’d like to abbreviate Thornton’s day for a couple of weeks and gradually build up to the full day... I don’t think Thornton’s sadness is feeding off the others’ because they have come a long way. One made it through the whole day on Tuesday – not without tears – but with periods of engaging in the classroom (lovey in hand which is FINE). The other one is still leaving at 10:30 for a few more days, or maybe will leave at 11:00 next week, because she stops crying in the classroom within five minutes and doesn’t begin to cry again until right around 10:20ish. So she’s lengthening her day better too. It is not uncommon for Thornton to start the separation anxiety later than the first week. And he was sad on and off the first two weeks. But he held it together and the times of sadness were few and far between with periods of happily engaging. But then he realized just how long these days were and just how long he had to be without his loved ones. In speaking with Jason, it sounds like you guys are doing all the right things, talking school up while at home and talking about what a good time you will be having while he’s at school. That sounds harsh, but it frees him up to not feel guilty about being happy without you guys... Thanks for being so understanding! I don’t take calling parents to come get their children lightly. Laura and I will love on Thornton as we always do until he feels trusting of us, that we’ll nurture him in your absence, and then he’ll be able to engage more comfortably. I hope this helps!

Ok - not good my little man. So, then I get all anxious and start wondering if this is the right decision. I mean, seriously, the child is TWO-YEARS-OLD?!? Do we really need school 2 days a week if it's leading to anxt? He’s only 2, and we have tons of time for school. The idea was something fun to get him out of the house and social with others. So far, we're only batting 1 for 3. Big struggle here - Deciding if school was worth it, or if I was overreacting to a natural separation thing. My gut says he’s only 2 and if he isn’t ready, he isn’t ready. But, my head says this may all be typical 2 year old stuff and I may be getting sucked into a child-lead vortex of manipulation!

I was ready to turn in the towel last night, but it’s a new day today! We got a book on school and gave him a special kiss to take with him if he got lonely. We’ve been sending him to school with his bear, and he has been holding it close during school. Today, we had bear in hand before we even got out of the car. Also, we spent lots of time yesterday and this morning “talking up” all the fun things he’d do for the day. We also sent snack and had him help make it. Finally, we offered a special “surprise treat” if he had a great day at school. Shockingly, something worked... frankly, I think it was the special treat (bribery gets you everywhere). He made it all day. No saying what the next day will bring, but sounds like we may be on the right path. Now that he knows he'll get an oreo on school day, we have a sweeter incentive for going to school. Of course, he'll be in therapy for using food as a reward, but whatever. In further postitive news, his teacher sends this great message:

• Rockin’ good day for Thornton! I cannot promise that it will be tear-free from here on out…but what a boost for his confidence! Now he knows that he CAN make it the whole day and have fun while he’s at it. I’m just so thrilled. I told Jason to send a note on Tues with whoever is “on call”. We’ll be optimistic and plan for that person to come to carpool at 11:40, but that I’ll call earlier if Thornton needs that mommy/daddy fix sooner!

There's hope! I laugh at myself a bit because I’m the biggest proponent of “this too shall pass”, and then sometimes, I forget. But, this to shall pass, and I’m sure it will work out just fine. At any rate, I’ve decided that 2 is a completely fun stage. I laugh up at the things he’s thinking – when he starts talking about what he sees or thinks, my heart just melts.

Yesterday, putting him to bed, I’m talking about how proud I am that he stayed at school all day, how proud his teacher was, how much I loved him, what a good boy he is, etc. His response: Look, mommy, I have a cow (his cow flashlight in bed with him). I cracked up.

So, the drama in my mind is over. I think we’re on the right path, and if not, then we’ll choose another path.

Happy Birth-day to You

Singing is awesome. A singing two-year-old is even more awesome. Jason celebrated his birthday on Sunday, and Thornton spent all day practicing his "Happy Birthday" song. I was so proud (tear in my eye, here) when he brought out his daddy's birthday cake singing "Happy Birthday to You". Now granted, that's the line he repeated over, and over, and over, and over again. But, in his defense, the song is mostly just the words "Happy Birthday to You". I guess when you're two and don't have the whole tone thing down, it's just the same line a lot. We have it all on video in case a tear-jerker is needed later.

Daddy also got a homemade "pink velvet" cake. You wouldn't believe how much red food coloring is actually needed to make cake red. It's more than what we had in the cabinet, so our cake was a bit of a lighter red color... more "pinkish" if you will. Thornton was way into dumping ingredients. Egg cracking was his speciality. Mommy gets a gold star for thinking to crack the eggs in a separate bowl so shells can be separated. Thornton's idea of egg cracking is more of an egg crushing action. This leads to crunchy eggs. Thornton did an excellent job licking the spoon. It was funny that he didn't really want to lick the frosting at first... he wasn't sure what, exactly, to do. One little touch to the tounge, though, and a new addict is born. "Lick Spoon, Mommy" is now a key phrase in the new repotrar.

We did a really, really good job with sprinkles. There were more sprinkles per square inch on that cake than pretty much any other I've ever seen. The whole experience was everything I thought it would be. I was shocked by how patient he was - watching the mixer go, waiting while we measured before he dumped ingredients, and even more patient while we attended to Holden while cake making.

We spent the rest of the day talking about Daddy's cake and the party for the next day. So much so, that our first words waking up the next morning was "Daddy Cake" and "Party". When Daddy arrived home, we immediately pulled out the cake. The pride in his eyes was amazing, second only to the bostful: "Daddy, I made it". Daddy was way impressed in the way only Daddy can be.

I think we're good parents.

Why Blog?

Two boys under two years old creates for joyful, but chaotic, lifestyle. Thornton just passed the 2 year old mark and has started some pretty funny things (with his brother not far behind). I've come to the conclusion that I must have a way to capture these moments. Now that Holden is already 8 months, I realize even more that the months slip by so fast.

I've always been a person who journals, but personal time at home has become a rare commidity. In this new age of the digital revolution, it only makes sense to log our stories for our friends and family to see. My hope is to jot down some of the stats, stories, and silliness that makes our lives so much fun, and that the boys will have a record of things that happened in their younger years.